16th June. Fruit Gums

Whilst queing in W H Smiths, with my first copy of Birdwatch for over twelve months, I had the sudden urge for something sweet and fruity (no I am not on the turn!). I decided on a bag of Rowntrees (Nestle) Fruit Gums an old favourite of mine and one which I had not indulged myself in for a long time (much like the afore mentioned magazine). On opening the bag I was shocked to find it contained sweets that I can only describe as having midget gem like proportions, not at all the choking hazard that they were when I was a lad. Making it worse they were as soft as shit and not at all filling pulling hard. It seems that those bastards at Nestle have gone the same way as Waggon Wheels and Monster Munch and sold out to the nanny state. Food should carry an element of risk, it's part of the fun of eating it e.g. luke warm chicken pies, frozen prawns, live bees etc etc. I will not be purchasing again!
Birdwatch magazine still looks the same except for the cost of £3.80!! The 76 pages include 24 pages of adverts and Bill Oddies 'birding quiz' (is it me or does Bill makes us all look like a right bunch of pricks?). The photo however of the Cheshire Stilts, having sex, swung it for me and made me put back the copy of Nuts.

Pygmy's Bell End

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