12th August. TV

I've never been a fan of morning TV but I do like to catch a bit of news before venturing out into the big wide world. I tend to favour the BBC as almost everything that ITV do is shit. My argument for this was strengthened this morning when whilst watching a report on the current employment situation Jo protested that I was watching the 'serious' news and switched over to GMTV (Good Morning To Vegetables) where the screen was filled by a man wearing a Vic Reeves Big Night Out style paper bag on his head. Apparently this was a story about how women always go for good looking blokes - which is bollocks as everyone knows that women go for men with big bank balances and an appendage the size of Red Rum. This was my cue to get my coat and go to Orgreave, where a single Yellow-legged Gull graced the lagoon (I'm starting to get very bored with these).