10th September. Book Burning

A leading member of the right wing birding terror group OBL (One British List) today criticised Christian fruit cake Terry Jones (always my favourite Python) describing his 'book burning' plans as old hat and behind the times (which essentially means the same).
The OBL was formed, by old school BOU members, in the mid 1990's during a time when control of the British List was slipping into the hands of the president of the IQ40 club. Until today the OBL's activities have been a closely guarded secret but recently a photograph depicting an OBL terror attack has come to light.

An anonymous OBL spokesperson said:

"We'd been watching this bloke for a while and knew all his movements, particularly his dance moves. We knew he'd got this book coming out and reckoned that he'd been to the publishers to pick it up. You could tell the boot was full as the exhaust was almost on the ground. Getting the car was the easy part, the daft bastard had left the keys in. My mate just nipped out and had it away. We planned to stack the books under the car and set fire to them as a kind of warning not to f**k with the British List, but there was a problem! When we opened the boot it was full of shit - not literally shit - but the kind of shit people sell at car boot sales. There was also a knackered pair of Leicas that only one half worked on and a special scope that looked like a kaleidoscope of birds when you looked through it! We were fu*k*d no sacrificial books to burn. However we were in luck the local oxfam shop had a shit load of Margaret Thatcher's memoirs at two pence each so we bought a job lot, stacked up the Vectra and burnt the bastard, figuring that that would put the brakes on el presidente at least until the autumn"

The OBL refused to answer allegations relating to the near tragic Charter Plane crash for the Thick-billed Warbler, the sudden, unexplained break down of a small charter boat during the Long-tailed Shrike twitch and, more recently, the suspicious last minute cancellation of this years Scillonian Pelagic.

3 comments:

Mark Thomas said...

They might be watching you !

Mark said...

Now I'm feeling paranoid...

thedrunkbirder said...

Nice one Mark, I once calculated that given the cubic volume of one LRGE's books and the average cost he used to sell them at; he would have needed a large Luton van to have the £1000's of books he claimed.

Best of all though were the two scopes specially built for people with one... as opposed to all the scopes around built for two eyes!

PS. the word verification 'bugloide' sounds very much like a Devo song.